Winter has turned to summer almost overnight without any appreciable spring. I literally had the space heater on in the mornings two weeks ago, but am now wearing short-sleeved shirts to work and am sweating by the time I reach the office. During the training I asked one of the Bots 7 PCV’s who had been through one summer, what the heat was like. She said there were only three weeks in October/November when she slept on the floor with ice packs on her body. Oh goodie. From what I am told though, when the “rainy season” starts in December, it feels somewhat cooler. The term rainy season is somewhat misleading in a country that is mostly desert, and I this part of the country it refers to a heavy, somewhat welcome 30-60 minute shower every day or so.
Our friends the Guinn’s sent a wonderful article entitled “A Gift from Africa” from the August 10th issue of Sports Illustrated. It tells the story of the first African baseball player in the Major Leagues, 19 y.o. Mpho Ngoepe, from South Africa. You can find the article on-line at http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1158635/index.htm. and is well worth a read. It is heart-warming, realistic and describes well the challenges that Africans face. It also can give you a feel for what we see here in some segments of the population every day. Ironically enough, Mpho’s mother is named Maureen and followed a tortuous path in her native country to give her son the chance that he has embraced. The Batswana people are not as energetic as Mpho is described, but just as ready with a smile, a laugh, a song or a dance.
I don’t think I have mentioned it before, but the first names in Botswana are almost always the names of objects or traits. They can be openly English names, such as Beauty, Ginger, Agnes, Daniel, or Oscar. Alternatively they may be in Setswana with a direct English translation. Mpho’s name means ’gift’ and we have several in our PCV group who were given the Setswana name of Mpho by their host families. Kopo, the Setswana name given to my Maureen, means “requested or wanted.” Several other people we have met in the Ramotswa community are Maoto (“Legs”), Kajo (“Building”) Thuso (“Help”) Naledi (“Star”) Larona (“Ours) Tiro (“Work”) Dikeledi (“Tears”) Senatla (“Clever one”) Mosegi (Tailor”) and Kealeboga (“Thank you”).
Kopo and I each gave talks to a group of out-of-school youth peer counselors aged 18-25 on Friday. Hers was on Communication and Decision Making and mine was on Sexually Transmitted Illnesses. She got the group going with energizer activities and active discussion about building bridges to positive decisions. She felt good about getting back into teaching mode and did a great job.
Aw right, aw right. You all were looking forward to the next publication of the Khronicle last Sunday. So was I and to be honest, it was all printed and sitting in bundles by the side of the road (just down the dirt path from our roadside “office”). Suddenly this big bull elephant came out of the bush and hosed down all 500 copies—and not with his trunk either. I managed to snap this photo of him after the dastardly deed.
I was going to try and salvage the print run and deliver the soggy copies anyway, but I just couldn’t face the expected headlines in the Gaborone Sun the next day “The Khronicle is one Piss Poor newspaper.”
With effort, I was able to decipher the runny newsprint from last week’s edition and have re-created it as best I can.
The Kalahari Khronicle
Volume 1, Issue 2 August 13, 2009
Three-legged Monkey Terrorizes Kasane
The Daily News, July 15, 2009
In the resort town of Kasane located in the northern part of Botswana called the Chobe region, the residents and tourists have been harassed by a notorious three-legged monkey. After he first came into the local supermarket and stole a packet of sugar in full view of the other shoppers, he now has become bolder and more resourceful. He waits, camouflaged in the treetops seemingly noticing and targeting unsuspecting new tourists. If he cannot find an open window to enter, steal an item or two and leave in a split second, he waits for mealtimes. Cagily he walks up to the table with a decided limp which inspires calls of “Isn’t he cute?” As soon as the tourists reach for their cameras to begin clicking away, he rapidly steals their plate, food and all, and dashes off into the bush with nary a trace of a limp. He prefers vegetarian cuisine, but has absconded with several very expensive T-bone steaks. He approaches female-only groups brazenly without hesitation, but quickly exits if a man shows up on the scene.
No one knows for sure how he lost the front leg although he appears to have been born with four legs. Local lore says that he was shot by an irate tourist while heading for a tree carrying a bucket of sandwiches. After many complaints of food theft and break-ins to resident’s rooms, local lodge owners have taken action. Chobe Safari Lodge manager, Mr. Oliver Rathjen has armed his security guards with slingshots to bring an end to the reign of terror. The guards are not yet proficient at the art of aiming the slingshots. They have not as yet managed to make a direct hit on the three-legged bandit. They have however wounded four other innocent bystander monkeys and whizzed a pellet within a few inches of the head of a Dutch tourist causing her to check out immediately. Oberi Gwapela, the district wildlife officer defends the monkey saying that it is not as much of a problem as it is being made out to be. Nevertheless the great Three-legged monkey hunt continues with its posse of catapulters, dubbed “The Gang Who Couldn’t Shoot Straight.”
Kgosi’s Komment
If I ever decide to go to the Chobe Safari Lodge, I will always wear body armor and a helmet, since these guards seem to be close blood relatives of Dick Cheney.
CLASSIFIED AD SECTION
Botswana Guardian May 29, 2009
Under the Heading “TRADITIONAL HEALERS”
Dr Adamson Saidi
“He helps the following problems:
Manhood problems
Moja-Moja oil for LUCKY
Short Boys (Kgosi: It is unclear here if he refers to a person’s height but I believe in fixing short boys, this is a repeat claim of solving the manhood problems mentioned above)
Pregnancy Problems
Bring back lost lovers
Marriage Problems
Protections (Generals) Kgosi is also unclear here if Dr A simply makes a general protection against any harm whatever or if he is suggesting that if you have issues with top military officers, he’s your guy. If so, he doesn’t claim to have much luck with Colonels, Majors or Sergeants
Call 75439771
International Herbalist Dr Masimba cures different types of diseases and has powerful medicine for Boosting Business using sendawane oil; cures male problems with size, performance and form; protection from witchcraft. You have tried the rest, now try the best. Call 74516887
Dr Jumbe
The herbalist from Mozambique is now in Botswana to solve different human problems, bring back lost lover to 3 days, BP, sugar, casino, money matters and promotions, male performance and size in men.
Call 71792057
Dr Zatha:
Bring those unfinished problems, thoughts, diseases and jobs to be finished by Zatha 100% sure about it. Casino and gambling (1 and 2), bring back lost lover, protecting houses, cars; manhood problems (size 1,2,3,4,5 available)
Kgosi’s Komments: I sure hope these multi-talented guys don’t come to America, because as a psychiatrist, I would definitely be out of a job.
Successful male enhancement is obviously a staple in the practice of traditional healing. Never having had much success in my own previous work life treating this problem in the States, I was quite interested in how they performed such consistent lengthening and enlargement. I wanted a Khronicle exclusive on the subject and our features editor, Daniel “Short Boy” Nzuma seemed a natural to be given the assignment. (By the way, I did not give him this name. He is six foot four and came to me with this moniker—apparently an inside family anatomy joke since birth).
I sent him out to pose as a potential patient to interview various traditional healers about male lengthening. After several days he said he had not had much luck since he was flat broke and couldn’t come up with the 100 pula to get in the door. Most of these doctors would not describe exactly how they achieved such remarkable success without further payment. Short Boy did however say that he noticed that most of the healers spoke with an accent suggesting that they were from the northern part of Africa. He went on to say that this was the region that prized very long earlobes. I pressed him for the details of how earlobe lengthening was achieved and he said that it was usually done by tying a string onto the appropriate appendage, attaching rocks of increasing weight and letting gravity do the work. It usually took a number of months with the weight hanging there to achieve the desired length.
I was fascinated that this might also be the way they worked on other parts of the anatomy, and told him that I was sure that the Khronicle could come up with sufficient petty cash for him to take a three month assignment to create a byline expose on male lengthening and enlargement. He should go back, pay the money, ask specifically for Size 4 or size 5 and play along with the procedure. Strangely, shortly after this conversation, Short Boy said he was not feeling well and has not been back to the office in two and a half weeks.
FOREIGN TRADITIONAL DOCTORS FAKE?
The Monitor July 27, 2009
Correspondent Lekopanye Mooketsi wrote a feature column highlighting the influx of foreigners who were flooding into Botswana to get in on the lucrative market of traditional healing. Citing many of the inflated claims like those mentioned in the above advertisements, he says some of the phonies assert that they can cure a virtual endless list of problems. He quotes Monthusi Sekonopo, the outspoken president of the Botswana Dingaka Association (the Botswana Society of Traditional Healers) as saying that most of these people are young men who come in with forged credentials. He wants them all ”re-patriated” since they are “quacks” and “this is a job that can be efficiently done by Batswana.” He vaguely threatens retaliation if official steps are not taken by the authorities, including the Botswana Registrar of Societies to whom he has written on a number of occasions. He cites the case of a foreign traditional doctor who came to Botswana, but was found to be swindling people. The local practitioners bewitched the outsider and he died in a car accident. Sekonopo boasted that they just needed to prove “who rules the roost.”
Kgosi’s Komment
This is obviously a major problem. It is bad enough that there is a turf war going on between the natural healers, but it would just be too upsetting to have plunked down 100 pula to have your short boy lengthened only to find out that the guy has no credentials and is, in truth an unemployed Zimbabwean bricklayer.
No comments:
Post a Comment