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The Kalahari Khronicle
Vol. 1 # 5 special edition

The Khronicle staff is always scouring the African continent and the world for real life stories of breaking interest. Sometimes though, the most important stories happen right in your own backyard. The following newsflash is one of those times when we stopped the presses and issued a special Saturday edition. Be thankful that you have electronic communication, since our print edition may take a while (see below).

DAC Office Rocked by Construction Accident


Friday, January 29, 2010

The working community in the Rural Administration Center (RAC) was shocked when the caravan housing the District AIDS Coordinator's (DAC) office was struck by an errant road grader, knocking it off its moorings and leaving it standing at a 20° angle. The three occupants of the building, Semakaleng Ooke (the District AIDS Coordinator), Nthami Chilisa, (the World Bank District Representative), and Kgosi Doran, (the American Peace Corps volunteer) were all in a meeting or in the toilet (not together), and were uninjured. Both Semakaleng and Nthami had “No comment”. Doran was quoted as saying, "Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go. Sometimes the crap hits the fan. Sometimes diarrhea doesn’t ruin your butt, it saves it."



The road grader was attempting to spread piles of dirt and rocks into the parking lot when it apparently misjudged the distance to the caravan, clipped the corner of the vehicle, moved and dislodged it. Electronic equipment and furniture were strewn about inside. Electrical connections were disengaged and office wiring was found in a total mass of knots. Kgosi is quoted as saying however "That's the way those wires always are. They're breeding."

Although this accident occurred at two in the afternoon, rumors around the RAC are quickly making parallels to Tiger Woods running his car into a tree at 2 AM. There is however no evidence that anyone broke open the grader window with a golf club to pull the driver out.

Many have also suggested without any concrete proof, that perhaps the driver, like the ferry boat captain in Manhattan, was intoxicated at the time of the accident. Eerily similar, the driver of the grader was nowhere to be found at the scene of the accident. Ramotswa police are investigating.

So far there is no evidence to suggest direct sabotage or terrorism, although Osama bin Laden has issued a new video statement blasting any country that uses Western-style road equipment. Individuals who have heard the report say bin Laden maintains that the only acceptable way to move dirt is with a donkey and burlap bags.

News crews on the scene, snapped the following pictures, which no doubt will be used during the investigation.



Working in a chair with wheels is interesting at a 20 degree angle




The DAC office used to be at the height of the other caravan to the left



Kgosi’s Komments-- This kind of close call, can often make anyone so anxious that they begin to have loose stools. In Kgosi's case, such worsening of his bowel problems were totally unnecessary.

Kgosi has several further editorial comments:

1-- This whole project seems poorly conceived from the beginning. The road through the parking lot was working fine without significant potholes. Why then is it necessary to spread 15 piles of big rocks and dirt over the exact area that is already a smooth track, leaving new potholes and more big rocks. Tarring over the whole parking lot would simply make too much sense and is apparently not part of the plan.

2-- If someone is going to do this kind of a job in a small parking lot, why use a road grader the size of a 747 ? Even Osama seemed to have a better idea.

3-- This accident, also has dealt a significant blow to the Khronicle. Since we have no true "office" and work out in the open, we stored our printing press under the DAC office. Needless to say it is now ready for the scrap heap. Since we could not mass-produce this special edition, we followed the Botswana procedure of getting five quotations to provide for another method of transcription. On our limited budget, we had to take the lowest bidder, which meant giving the contract to a group of Tibetan monks, who will hand write this special edition on goat skins. Given that it is winter in Tibet, we expect this stop-the-presses-emergency-edition to be ready to hit the Ramotswa streets in July.

4-- No doubt, repair of the DAC office will be put on the "top priority, fast track." Given the time standards in Botswana, we expect to be back using the office late in October 2011.


As a final portion of this story, Kgosi has made financial arrangements to obtain a new printing press by taking out a loan with his Nigerian banker, Abu Khalid Khneecap. Hasty negotiations were completed with the following terms:

Kgosi gets $57.93 to buy a used printing press at a local bazaar

Abu receives interest at a rate of 20% per week and permanent custody of my next born child. I must confide to our readers that for a banker, Abu is not the sharpest camel in the tent. We don't even plan on ever having another child!
Kgosi

The Roller Coaster of Life

Since we returned from America, and Avie’s birth, it has been a very hectic time as we catch up, put some finishing touches on the new abode (more on that and a movie next week), and expand our work projects for the New Year. I must confess that recently I have been a bit remiss in making blog posts as regularly as I had been. Real life has some nerve intruding on the really important things like writing posts to the blog!

Our First Visitors

We had our first American visitors to Africa and Ramotswa -- my brother Ric, my nephew Sam and his cousin Mitchell. We had a delightful and busy several days, including seeing the sights of the area, visiting a rehabilitation center for disabled individuals (Ric’s field of training and work), eating several special meals out, and introducing them to our Batswana colleagues (In 5 minutes, Ric got an offer of marriage from the mail room clerk). Mitchell spent multiple phone calls trying to track down his suitcase which never made the last leg of his airplane flight and allegedly was in Jo’burg. After a spontaneaous phone call from the airlines saying that it was coming over to Gaborone on the first flight in the morning, we drove up there. The following conversation occurred with the airport luggage lady:

Kgosi: We are here to pick up Mitchell Jelle’s suitcase—it is bright orange (good choice on Mitchell’s part).

Lady: I don’t think it is here.

Kgosi: The airline called me and specifically told us to come pick it up.

Lady: Those guys will tell you anything.


She let Mitchell go through all the bags on two different days, but it never did arrive in the Gaborone. He was able to finally pick it up in Johannesburg before they flew out to Cape Town. He was told that it was meanwhile shipped back to America then came back to Jo’burg. Hey, this is Africa.

After leaving Ramotswa, they drove to Madikwe game preserve to go on game drives to see the animals. I won't spoil their fun of relaying all the adventures that they had, but suffice it to say, they got within 5 yards of a pride of six lions and had a female elephant charge their vehicle so that they had to high-tail it rapidly in reverse.

They saw four of the "big five" including a leopard, which is not always easy to track down. Water buffaloes managed to remain elusive. Following the return trip to Johannesburg. They spent a week in Cape Town, going out to the South African wine country, touring the Cape of Good Hope, visiting Robben Island where Nelson Mandela was incarcerated and taking the cable car up to the top of Table Mountain. (Speaking of Mandela, if you have not seen it, Invictus is a good movie about him and true stories of the transition from apartheid to democracy. It is well worth a look).

The pictures below show the three intrepid travelers and the two Doran brothers. As you can readily tell, we were identical twins, separated at birth.







Avie’s Progress

Our wonderful and beautiful granddaughter Avie, continues to flourish. She came home from the hospital three weeks to the day from when she was born. Alison, Jason and Avie had their second pediatrician appointment at Mass. General yesterday, and Avie received a clean bill of health. She is now up to a robust 6 lbs. 4 oz. She remains cute as ever, as this picture will show.




Work Progress


My two secondary projects, "My Life Is in the Library" and working with the University of Botswana Medical School continued to percolate along. I do not remember if I specifically mentioned it, but we have received a verbal guarantee of funding for the library project from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation which will ensure its financial viability. Everyone at the local and national level has been very positive about it and the Botswana National Library with the help of the Foundation, is going to make the Ramotswa “My Life is in the Library” a pilot for the other 77 libraries and reading rooms in the country.

The "Life Line" youth group that is the second part of my proposal is also moving ahead. An application form, requiring a several-paragraph essay about why the individual wants to be a member of the group and an ambassador for the library, has been devised and distributed to various schools and other locations around town. We will get the applications back in 10 days and work with the local Ramotswa library staff to choose the best participants.

Maureen and I had an initial exploratory meeting with the faculty of the University of Botswana Medical School earlier this week. They are eager to seek our counsel and mental health teaching experience as the current faculty is made up solely of basic science teachers and medical/surgical clinicians. The Mental Health module for the first year students will begin in early May, so we have some time to both consult with them on curriculum and prepare some materials to teach to the students. This school is following a UK/Canadian system of learning called "Problem-Based Learning” or PBL, which is new to us. It involves a lot of self learning and computer use on the student’s part, and small group discussion with a limited amount of lecture time. The school also follows the British timetable for medical education. This starts right after high school with one year of pre-medical school science, and then five years of medical school. These future doctors begin their medical training at age 18 or 19 without ever having attended college/university. It has both its positives and negatives from our point of view, but the students sure look young!

The first class of 36 students entered training in August of 2009. For the next four years, they will add 12 students per year, eventually reaching a class size of 90. The selection process for the students was quite competitive, and the faculty feels they have the “Best of the Best" in the school. I am sure that every prospective medical student in the United States would be envious to know that if you are selected for admission to the medical school, your entire medical education is paid for by the government.

In 12 to 18 months, they will have a big beautiful building on the University campus which will house both the schools of Medicine and Nursing. For now though, they are using makeshift classrooms and labs in a renovated warehouse. The faculty is attempting to use materials from a variety of sources, but are particularly interested in approaches and consultation from America as well as the UK. Without trying to reinvent the wheel, all of the material is being “Botswana-ized” to adapt to the national culture. It's a real challenge but an exciting one, and we are delighted to be a part of it.

New Record

On one of our hot days, Kgosi was part of a new Ramotswa record (at least for him) of stuffing 19 passengers plus the driver in a combi (old VW bus) coming back to town. Okay, one them was a four year old boy, so there were really only 18 and a half, but it beat Kgosi’s personal best by one and a half. It was a true Right Guard moment--at least for the other passengers. Kgosi was really rank.

The Kalahari Khronicle
Volume 1 issue 4

Despite limited number of Khronicle issues over the past month, the staff has been vigorously pursuing fascinating and totally useless articles from around the world. As is virtually always the case, there is no shortage.



Overheard in Atlanta's Hartsfield Airport

Kgosi and Kopo were waiting in between planes in Atlanta for a flight to Boston, when they observed a small international group discussing alcoholic beverages. A red-faced “good ole boy” with a distinct Southern drawl and apparently from Georgia was asking an Egyptian-looking colleague with a deep Middle Eastern accent, “Have you ever tried a "Flaming Dr. Pepper Shot?” The Egyptian looked totally blank, so the Georgian said, "Yeah. You take 16 ounces of beer, a half shot of rum and a shot of amaretto. You mix it all together, then light it on fire. When it gets going, it's just like a lab experiment. You got to get the glass right up to your mouth though, to keep from getting burned. It tastes just like Dr. Pepper.”

Kgosi’s Komment-- God, it's great to be back in America.

Kgosi does think though, wouldn't it just be easier to buy a Dr. Pepper and put some booze in it? The risk of fried nasal hairs and eyebrow singe with the “Dr. P Flaming Shot” is just too great. Although then again, Kgosi was in the state of Georgia.

This also brings up the report in Newsweek Magazine from police Capt. James Callaway about a Georgia man who was dressed as an elf in a suburban Atlanta mall over Christmas. He told Santa Claus that he ”had dynamite in his bag." The elf was arrested but no explosives were found.

Kgosi’s Komment—Aw shucks. Kgosi wanted a bang-up, rock-your- socks-off stocking stuffer. Of course it is also possible that this particular elf had one too many Dr. Pepper Flaming Shots.



Classified ad from the Botswana Advertiser

“Ex-pat leaving household furniture linen kitchen utensils one month old”

Kgosi's Komment-- Kgosi wishes the best of luck to the one month old


Speeding Down the Road of Life


Police in Uniontown, Pennsylvania arrested Craig Davis of Smithfield, PA after he was charged with robbery and disorderly conduct. The report indicated that Davis had recently been released from the hospital where he was being treated for injuries suffered in a domestic dispute with his girlfriend on New Year’s Day. He was still in his hospital gown when he met an ex-girlfriend at Wal-Mart where she agreed to pay for his prescription medication. Instead he robbed her $50 and tried to escape riding a Wal-Mart scooter, but was apprehended some 100 yards out of the parking lot.

Kgosi’s Komment-- No surprise in this arrest. How many guys do you see creeping down the highway in a Wal-Mart scooter wearing a hospital gown? Kgosi doesn’t worry about Craig though. When he gets out of the slammer, he has a bright future as the new heartthrob of Geriatric NASCAR in Georgia.

Kgosi

Merry Christmas Happy New Year and Hello Avie

Boston is the last place that we thought we'd be spending Christmas, but nevertheless there we were. A little explanation:

Tuesday December 22nd 10:30 AM Botswana time, we received a call from Alison saying that her water broke in the middle of the previous night. After a quick trip to Cambridge Hospital, she was whisked off to Mass General for admission given that she was only 33 1/2 weeks along and the course of things was quite uncertain.

We knew immediately that we couldn't stand by in Ramotswa while such big, important and uncertain events were happening, so we began a very hectic 4 hours to contact the Peace Corps Country Director, re-arrange things, cancel things, arrange for transport, close up the house and get a flight to Boston. In the 95 degree heat, I sweated through my clothes twice, but who's counting?

Six hours after the call, we had received Peace Corps authorization and were on flights to Jo'burg, Atlanta and Boston, arriving there on the 23rd, 29 hours after leaving our house. It really does feel like a small world.

Upon arrival, we began a series of discussions with Alison, Jason, their steadfast and incredibly helpful friend, Heather Lane (a Yale classmate of Alison's and a nurse midwife) and the doctors and nurses at MGH about what to do. A plan gradually came into view, but all was overtaken by natural events--funny how that happens.

Alison started contractions on her own during our pow-wows and moved along exceptionally quickly. After only 6 hours of rapidly progressing labor, Avie O'Keefe Marshall (Avie rhymes with "navy.") was born at 9:30 p.m. that evening. She weighed in a 4 lbs. 11 oz. and 18.5 inches, a good and healthy size for a baby born six weeks early. Avie is currently in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit (NICU) as a precaution, although we are elated that no invasive treatment like a respirator has been necessary. She is breathing great on her own and is taking to feedings like a champion. She's got her maternal Grandfather's appetite and she is a beauty like her Mother and Grandmother.

Alison was in the hospital until Saturday the 26th. She is walking, eating and settling into her new role as a Mom. Jason has just been a terrific support and partner. They are a great team. Avie will likely need to stay at the hospital for awhile. The doctors are calling her the "star of the NICU," so we're cautiously optimistic she will be moved to a less intensive unit or discharged soon.

From here on, I thought it best to let Alison give an update in her own words.


Our week has been out of the ordinary but overall very good. Physically I feel great (thank God for a quick labor and delivery!) and mentally I am also doing well. Our impatience to get Avie home has to be tempered with our desire for her to grow and thrive and she is getting the best of care here. I have to say that having a rock solid marriage to a fantastic husband has been a gift I couldn't have imagined. Jason has become such the protective Daddy and husband- I can hardly lift a finger before he is there to help. He's also far surpassed me in diaper changing and has even caught a few surprise poops on their way out without a flinch! Last Thursday was the first day that he was able to properly hold Avie (more on this below) and it warmed my heart to no end to see my little family all snuggled together. We both could not have been doing so well without the incredible help of our parents. We have had meals cooked for us, laundry done, shopping completed and lots of hugs and good conversations. Not many people have families like this and we feel very blessed.

So, on to the little Miss. She is progressing exceptionally well, both in our opinion and the opinion of the providers here. Basically, she is just being given more time to grow and get strong. She has not had some of the complications of prematurity, i.e. "forgetting" to breathe (apnea), intolerance of feeds (vomiting or not pooping), and slowing of the heartbeat (bradycardia). She was old enough and developed enough that these really didn't make an appearance. Obviously, this helps her prognosis a lot. However, she still has a few hurdles to clear. For the first 6 days, she was under phototherapy lights to help lower her bilirubin levels. Bilirubin is a compound that is formed with the breakdown of red blood cells. Older babies also have this in the form of jaundice. Too much jaundice can harm neurological development, so it's crucial to keep it under control. The problem with the phototherapy is that Avie could only be out of the lights for 20 minute breastfeeds. Poor Jason didn't get much time with her at all until she finally came out of the lights on the 31st. So she is out of "bili-jail" as we have been calling it. She also needs to prove that she can eat all the calories she needs to gain weight by mouth. For now, she is still getting tired on the breast long before she has completed a feed, so the rest of her food is being delivered via nasogastric tube directly to her stomach. The goal is that over time, she will eat more at each feed and need less and less by the tube.

We are not being given a time line at all as to when to expect discharge. Everyone here is encouraging us to take things one day at a time and let Avie set the pace. Again, it's our impatience to get her home that's bothersome, she's doing everything right.


It is a truly memorable Christmas that none of us will forget. We send along wishes for a Happy and Healthy New Year to all of you.

Kgosi and Kopo