High of 86, low of 55; High of 88 low of 54; High of 91, low of 58, and every day this week to be the same. Hooray! Winter is just a distant memory, and Spring--we hardly knew ya’, but who's keeping track? I never really envisioned myself cheering the onset of 90° days, but it's a welcome relief. I was counting on at least a month of highs in the 70s, but I think a week looks more like it. We have broken out the shorts, short sleeve shirts and sandals, and just packed up the electric heater. It already feels like we need the fans. Talk to me again in two months and I might be singing a different tune, but right now I like this a lot better than the freezing temperatures of July.
‘Tis the season
With the weather turning warm, activity of all kinds is on the upswing, particularly weddings.
Of course, the first and foremost wedding on our minds is Meghan and Joey’s. We are anxiously awaiting our trip to the States in two weeks, and the opportunity to see many of you in person. It will be pretty much the usual 28-hour flight: Gaborone, to Johannesburg, but a new wrinkle from there-- onto Emirates Air to Dubai and non-stop from there to San Francisco.
Kopo has been working diligently with the seamstress in the village for the past month to get her mother-of-the-bride dress finished. The shop, the only one in Ramotswa, is swamped with business and seems barely able to keep up with all the bridal gowns and wedding attire. In typical wait-until-the last- minute Botswana fashion, my boss, whose son is getting married the same day as Meghan September 25, just approached the seamstress Friday to see about getting her own mother-of-the- bride dress. She was told that there was no possibility of having it ready by the 25th, but something could be ready by October 2, which is the couple’s “second wedding” day.
I guess I have to explain. In Botswana, when a couple gets married there are a number of traditions, including two wedding ceremonies on consecutive weekends---one in the village of the bride and one in the village of groom. Both are usually big affairs, under a tent in someone's backyard. There are no true "invitations" since it is expected that anybody who wants to, can attend and the families are expected to entertain and feed them no matter how many show up. One could easily have 300-400 people at the celebration including most everyone in the village. It would be terribly embarrassing, with great loss of face, to run out of food. For most weddings there are no such things as caterers and the bride or groom's family (depending on which village it is) is expected to prepare all the food in big pots for as many guests as they think might show up.
There is also the Lebola or “bride price” which the groom or groom’s family is expected to pay to the bride's family. This is a serious and carefully negotiated process between both families. The payment is cows…a custom going back to centuries…is decided between the elders of the couples’ families requiring many meetings, offers and counter-offers. Depending on the circumstances, the rate might be 2 cows for a modest bride, 8 cows for a singularly fetching and “valuable” bride. Even if ultimately cash is substituted for animals (which is becoming more common in today’s families), the amount of cash is figured on the value of the animals. In addition, the groom's family must give gifts to the entire bride's extended family, including new outfits and various kitchen appliances. The bride's family is really not expected to provide any gifts to the groom's family except the bride herself. (I think somehow I had daughters in the wrong culture).
As one can imagine, this whole process is very expensive, particularly by African income standards and this in part, accounts for the fact that only 20% of committed couples are married. Nonetheless traditions persist and families, particularly the groom's family, will take on a great debt to provide for a “proper” wedding.
There was one wedding in our neighborhood last Saturday and two more close by yesterday. The ceremonies themselves might be relatively short, followed by lots of partying and dancing. Often, the bride and groom are carried in vehicles up and down the streets with much honking of horns and cheering. If the families can afford it, they may rent cars with a sunroof and the bride and groom will be standing on the car seat waving from out the sunroof as they parade around town. If the family is not particularly well-to-do (and most of them are not) the bride and groom may stand up and wave from the back of a pickup truck, surrounded by 10 or 12 of their closest friends.
Bridal attire is pretty much similar to what we might expect, strapless white gowns, with or without a head piece or veil for the brides and white or dark business suits and ties for the groom. There are brightly colored and matching outfits for the bridesmaids and matching suits for the groomsmen. Most couples cannot afford a honeymoon, although some may get a night or two in a hotel in the capital city. We will be able to attend my boss’s “second wedding” after we return from America, so some pictures will follow.
Now to the most important part of any celebration….the food! Meat is important in Botswana and the center of any celebration. Live goats are slaughtered (and again, the number of goats killed is an indication of the importance of the celebration.) Beef is pounded and shredded (called Setswa), chicken served with every possible part used, and sometimes local fresh water fish is fried. Cooked beets, cooked cabbage, and salad are presented with a variety of starches (Paleche or maize meal) which resembles mashed potatoes. (In our first days in country, we PCVs were served Paleche and my Irish wife, thinking it yummy mashed spuds, took a heaping spoonful. One taste, one “ugh” and that was the last of the traditional fare for her) Other varieties may be hot or lukewarm, be brown or off-white and resemble dumplings, Cream of Wheat or Farina. It actually tastes quite a bit better than it sounds, but hits the stomach like a lead balloon. As with any intelligently laid out buffet, the starches are first, the vegetables second, the salads third, and the meat at the end of the table when your plate is already filled.
In addition to weddings, September, October and November are also prime months for workshops, seminars, and educational talks. Both through Peace Corps, and my office, things have been really hopping with many opportunities for me to speak to various groups. Last week, my counterpart and I gave a two-hour presentation to half the new BOTS 9 Peace Corps group at their IST (Inter service Training) about how Peace Corps volunteers and Botswana counterparts can work together. We did several short skirts, including how to do it right and how to botch it up. The Batswana are exceptionally good at identifying "errors" and delight in pointing them out, but will also listen attentively to how to prevent or correct the mistakes. We will repeat this session again on Wednesday to the other half of the group.
Over the next three days last week, I did four more talks for the PCV’s-- one on “Stress and Stress Management”, one on “Group Presentation Skills”, one on “Listening and Counseling Skills”, and one on “Starting and Facilitating Youth Groups” (this last one based on our now having two 25-member Life Line groups for the Library).
September is also the Month of Prayer for HIV/AIDS and there are a number of faith-based activities at the various churches or at the Kgotla (the village meeting place of the chief). It also has been designated as "Wellness Month." Many of the departments are conducting educational activities on staying healthy and avoiding disease. Friday, I spoke on “Stress Management” for 30 members of the Agriculture Dept. and will go back on the 15th to do a presentation on “Anger Management.”
As if these weren't enough, we have four major HIV-theme-related activities in the district over the next three weeks to be coordinated and implemented by our office. They include:
--a Youth Street Bash (a street fair with entertainment, educational booths, dramas put on by several local youth groups and a concert by a “crowd puller”—a local musical celebrity)
--a Parental Guidance Workshop for parents and caregivers of orphans and vulnerable children. We will be discussing techniques for raising the topics of sex, sexuality and teenage pregnancy with their children.
--Week after next we have the continuation of our “Shebeen Strategy” against HIV
Shebeens are legal, small locally-owned establishments, usually in someone's home, where the locals come to drink homemade beer and socialize. There are probably 40-50 in Ramotswa alone. There is much more to shebeens though, as the owners -- usually women, called Shebeen Queens -- act in a very maternal capacity-- fixing meals, looking out for the health of their customers and generally providing advice. We decided last year that it could be an effective strategy to educate the Shebeen Queens on HIV, so they could pass this information on to their customers. It’s bad for business, if your customers get sick! The shebeens would also be a convenient distribution point for condoms. The strategy has been successful and we are doing follow-up meetings with the Queens every three months in three different villages throughout the district.
--On the last Saturday of the month, there will be a Wellness Fair with presentations by each of the government work departments, a Beauty Contest for "the most beautiful couple" and a Choir Competition among choirs composed of department members (remember, everybody sings in Botswana).
Whew!! I get tired just thinking about all that we have to do. Needless to say, it will be a busy several weeks before we leave for America and the most important celebration of all…the marriage of our fabulous younger daughter.
Kgosi
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